Thursday, July 22, 2010

Compulsion

Sometimes (often), as I sit in the dark in Nate's room rocking him back to sleep, I look down at his innocent sleeping face, I inhale his sweet baby breath and I have the irresistible urge to kiss him. Even though I know it may wake him, I have to do it. Even if it took me twenty minutes to rock him back to sleep. Like an addict, I just cannot resist that plump little cheek. For that split second after I give in to the urge, I hold my breath wondering if I've screwed up and brought him out of sleep land. Just now, when I kissed him it did not wake him up. And in response to the touch to his cheek, I was rewarded with the tiniest of little sleep smiles. I love this creature. I cannot believe I helped create something so beautiful.

3 comments:

Mina Joshi said...

Ahhh This brought back memories. I too used to love the time you rocked them to bed. And yes, I too used to love just looking at this little miracle who has complete trust in you. My kids still have a way of looking at me that you just want to hug them!!

Keyuri Joshi said...

Reading this made me reminisce. The plump cheeks I used to kiss are now giving me "cheeky" teenage comments, but I still kiss them as often as I can! I think your compulsion is a great one and I hope your precious little one rewards you with smiles and much more... over and over and over again.
Thanks for sharing your tender moment!

dlk said...

I know exactly how you feel. I find myself doing the same exact thing. My sweet baby boy is just so beautiful. I can't help but kiss him over and over whether he is laughing, crying, or sleeping. He is such an amazing gift.

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